Surrendering All to God

I accepted Jesus into my life when I was in 5th grade. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was Sunday morning and I was with my family at church. The sermon was over and we were singing our last hymn. It was I surrender all. I remember starting to sing the song and all of the sudden just crying, I couldn't explain to you why I was crying I just was- I was standing in between my Mom and Dad and I remember trying to hide my tears...I didn't know why I was crying but I didn't want anyone else to see me crying. Well, hiding the tears didn't really work and my Mom saw me crying pretty quickly...She kept asking me if I was okay or if I wanted to go up front and speak with the preacher. I told her I was fine and we kept singing- but I kept crying..She asked me again if I was ok...I again said I'm fine...but then she said something to me, that I will never ever forget- If God is telling you YES don't you say NO. So I ended up going upfront in the sanctuary and speaking with the preacher. It is a day and a song that will always be special to me. I hear that song, and it takes me back to that moment and the tears come all over again. You may be wondering why I am writing about this- a few months ago our pastor asked us to send in our favorite hymn and a story behind why its your favorite. My first thought was this is going to be difficult! There are so many songs that I could choose from, but I knew right way that this was the one for me. So, I sit down to write a paragraph to submit. That paragraph took me 2 months to write. I couldn't find the right words..or I just didn't know where to start. I was finally able to write my paragraph and for the past 6 weeks I kept questioning myself...was it too personal, did I right enough, was that really the song I should have chosen (I tend to worry a little to much sometimes). But it also made me take a step back and think- What does it mean to surrender ALL to GOD. But here it gets worse- I have been struggling lately- struggling with myself- I obviously have to go to work, but then I come home, do stuff around the house, multiple Bible studies and, and other random things that I am involved in. I thought I was doing pretty good- I was content with all that I was doing. Then one night- Dave said Katie, I want to talk to you about something(well crap, what have I done) was my first reaction..but then he said I want us to do a bible study together or even just joys and concerns..What I was thinking and what I actually said totally surprised me...in my head I was thinking...thats a cool idea why haven't we done this before. What came out of my mouth was- really? Another Bible study? I really think I am involved in enough- Well, the look on his face said it all. I felt horrible, for saying that to him to it was like I said to God...I do all this other stuff...can't I just have some time for me? Then for about 2-3 weeks after that conversation- I have had 2 strong thoughts in my head 1. God doesn't call us to be content and comfortable. 2. What does it mean to Surrender all to God? 1. I was happy with everything I was doing- especially with my Bible studies- I have made some great friends, my work- youth activities were going great, Our church has a great group of youth. I am blessed that they are in my life. Even though there are times Dave drives me crazy- I love him more today than I ever thought possible. I started to think am I to comfortable with my life? what can I change,add, take away? What I learned with part of this was that what I needed was "me time" not me all alone- but me with God- reading, or listening, or just soaking in his beautiful creations. I have noticed a difference, but I always question myself- am I really doing all I can to serve my God, but it's more than that- am I living and showing my middle schoolers what it means to live a christian life? 2. To surrender all to God- that is a hard one for me- I like to have plans and plan for my plans....I like to make lists of what is coming next(Dave says I make lists for all my lists) - what to expect when....It is hard but truly rewarding when I find myself fully surrendering to God- Its amazing how one statement that I made 6 weeks ago has opened my eyes and helped me see and experience God's love. I am truly blessed.